This morning’s post comes from a chance encounter with a website that offers “10 Psychology Tricks You Can Use To Influence People”. Buckle up – you’re about to be tricked and influenced.
Here are the ten tricks:
10. Get someone to do a favor for you.
9. Ask for way more than you want at first then scale it back later.
8. Use a person’s name, or their title depending on the situation.
7. Flattery will actually get you everywhere.
6. Mirror their behavior.
5. Ask for favors when someone is tired.
4. Start with a request they can’t refuse and work your way up.
3. Don’t correct people when they are wrong.
2. Paraphrase people and repeat back to them what they just said.
1. Nod a lot while you talk, especially when leading up to asking for a favor.
So here’s my fantasy proposal using those “10 psychology tricks:”
10. Do me a favor, if you would, and let me know if the questions I’m about to ask you influence the way you read the poem I posted on June 19.
9. Believe it or not, I’m hoping that with your answers I can make the poem work as a kind of sales pitch for a seaside house I’d like to put on the market.
8. I’ve broached this idea with Donald Trump, who said he’d help me because he’s a whole lot more interested in real estate than the presidency.
7. But you present a lot more intelligence, to say nothing of humanity, than Trump, so your opinion is much more significant to me than his.
6. I can imagine how you are shaking your head is utter disbelief that I am proposing that you team up with Trump, but I think there might be financial benefit for all of us in poetry and real estate sales.
5. Now I can really see you are shaking your head in fatigue and disbelief that I’d have the gaul to ask this of you when you are undoubtedly doing something else that is much more important and tiring, but give me just a minute or two of your time.
4. Five yes or no questions will get us started. I’m really interested in your opinion. The questions are below.
3. There’s no such thing as a wrong answer.
2. Every question you answer I’ll rewrite into a statement that accurately reflects what you said in your yes or no answer.
1. I really appreciate your willingness to help me become a better poet and successful real estate salesman by giving me your feedback – thank you! I’d also like to include this poem in a self-published book that costs – what can I say? – a few bucks, so if you have any spare money, send it along!
Question #1: Was Donald Trump proud that on July 23, 2020 he was able to remember and repeat these five words: “Person, woman, man, camera, TV.” Yes or no.
Question #2: Did I mean to suggest cresting and receding waves by using varying lengths of each line of my poem? Yes or no.
Question #3: Did you recognize the imagery in the last four lines of the poem as part of a sermon I gave at Cornell’s Sage Chapel in 2004? There’s only one answer: no.
Question #4: Is it clear that my meager output as a poet is typically around two poems a year? Yes or no.
Question #5: Is my poem worth a house? There’s only one answer.
I bet you’re nodding a lot right now. Sweet dreams!