At the end of a busy day, I confess to having no original thoughts, so here are some modestly amusing musician jokes for your delectation.

 

A young child says to his mother, “Mom, when I grow up I’d like to be a musician.” She replies, “Well honey, you know you can’t do both.”

 

Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist’s arm?

A: A tattoo.

 

Q: What’s the difference between a banjo and an onion?

A: Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.

 

Q: What’s the difference between a folk guitar player and a large pizza?

A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

 

Q: What’s the difference between an oboe and a bassoon?

A: You can hit a baseball further with a bassoon.

 

Q: What’s the difference between a Lawnmower and a Viola?

A: Vibrato

 

Q: How do you get a guitarist to play softer?

A: Place a sheet of music in front of him.

 

Q: What’s the difference between a dead conductor in the road and a dead snake in the road?

A: There are skid marks in front of the snake.

 

Q: How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

A: Pay him for the pizza.

 

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